What a Difference a Week Makes

It seems to be working, we have all taken a big sigh of relief and let our shoulders go back to the normal resting position. The smiles say it all, he is happy, THEY are happy and its working! As of Saturday morning, April 19, Gabriel and Bella have made it about 88 miles and I fully expect them to hit 100 today.

It funny how the world keeps turning and the sun keeps rising and setting even when things in your own personal bubble are completely off kilter. Things are getting back to "normal" but feels anything BUT normal to the rest of us. Gabe and Bella have settled into a routine, they have made gear changes in Julian, they have learned to work their Garmin devices, how to store power, deal with blisters, use quarters for a shower, make friends, stay warm, stay cool...and everything else that goes along with trail life. They are making strides, getting more daily miles...everything EVERYTHING is new to them. Each hill they crest, each stream they cross, each person they meet, everything is new and exciting. Then there are the rest of us....Samo is home in Florida, missing his brother no doubt. I am back in Oklahoma...I came home to thigh high grass and hours of physical labor waiting to greet me with an evil smile. Rob is in Idaho, working and working and working, like he does. Barboo and Papa are in Houston, doing what they do and cheering from afar. And we all know Gabe is happy and we are all so happy for him, but there's this hole, this missing him that I can almost reach out and touch...and I want to grab it and choke it away.

Even though its working, even though he is happy, he seems to be feeling the hole as well. I have seen a side of Gabe this week that I haven't seen in a long time. He has softened, he is grateful, he is reflective, he is listening and understanding and being compassionate to those who simply want a photo texted and an "I'm alive" update twice a day. He's humble, he's helpful, and he is doing everything he can to stay connected with his people. It would be easy to forget, but I keep reminding myself that despite the fact that he is out "living his dream" he misses us too. My phone's ringer is as loud as it goes and I don't let it out of my sight, if he calls or texts, I will not miss it. I made that promise when he was brand new and I don't plan on breaking it in this lifetime or the next.

Some quick updates: Samo and I got to see Gabe and Bella at Lake Morena on the Saturday before we left San Diego. They needed some things and needed us to take away some things, so we did. They had only been gone one day but the excitement with which they greeted up was as if they'd been gone a year. It did my momma heart good. I took them for a meal at the diner in Lake Morena and even though the cook/waitress was possibly the meanest restaurant employee I have ever met, we enjoyed the food and each others company for a short time. Even though it was great to see them, it was hard to do the whole goodbye routine yet again. On Sunday, Samo and I enjoyed a San Diego Padre's game, courtesy of Samuel himself. It was a beautiful day at Petco Stadium, we ate dogs and cheered and for a moment I forgot that my first born was out trudging through the desert and that I would not see him again for months and months. For a few hours, I got to quit wondering what would happen between now and then. On Monday, we left San Diego. As we were sitting on the plane, at the gate, everyone's phone went off with the high pitched alarm like an Amber Alert. When I glanced down at my phone, it said "Earthquake Detected: take cover immediately".....the entire plane had rocked and it wasn't until people around us started talking that I put all of the pieces together. I was scared, no lie and no shame, just scared. My first thoughts went to whether Samo and I were safe...then Gabe and Bella...did they feel it? Were they scared? Were they ok? As much as I did not want to leave my child in the desert of Califoria, with no ride home, thousands of miles away, I wanted that plane to get us up and off of the ground...what better place to be when the earth has decided to shake and rumble?

Our plane took off headed west, out over the ocean. I glanced over Samo's shoulder and looked at the beach where we had all stood together just days before. It all happened so fast. He was in FL, he was in OK with me having a great time, helping, laughing, loving, planning and prepping. Then we were in Houston, then San Diego - we were all together and life was so perfect for a few days....then he was gone. Samo and I made it back to Houston in one piece. My truck was still at the airport, all 4 tires inflated and catalytic converters intact - a small gift from the universe to me. We had a nice meal of Whataburger with the parents - because there is none in Oklahoma or Florida (don't judge my mom for serving us fast food, LOL). I knew I would leave before everyone was up, so it was yet another round of goodbyes, they never get easier. And now as we all sit, thousands of miles away from each other, I try to be grateful for all of the things that are right. But in the words of Chris McCandless, "Happiness Only Real When Shared" He got a lot of things wrong, but he got that right.

Gabriel and Bella have met so many wonderful people, Bella has a running list of their names in her phone so that they don't forget anyone. They successfully made it to Julian, CA on Thursday (77 miles in). They were able to see Gabe's friend from the first trip, Mary, the owner of Two Foot Adventures - a hiking gear shop. Gabe met her in 2020 and they immediately connected - she happened to be an Embry Riddle graduate and was very interested in his journey - he said it was great to reconnect now that he was a graduate as well. Mary helped Bella with some suggestions for blister care and backpack repair. They got some things they needed as well, like a new charging block and tape to repair a hole in their tent. They were able to stay at a hotel from the 1800s, get their first showers, get their laundry done and have some Mexican food. They headed out from Julian yesterday and hit the trail again. For them, I am excited to see what week 2 brings. Gabe called me yesterday for the first time since they've been gone. I'm not used to not hearing his voice for days on end, when he called, I was at the plant store, strolling around looking for ways to brighten things up. I didn't cry until we hung up and I'm not even sure which emotion it was....pride, fear, gratefulness, sadness, happiness - maybe its a emotion cocktail, I don't know. But he was good, he was happy, he was grateful.....it's working.